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I missed my Frugal Friday list last week.  I had a good excuse, I spent the day with my sister in law and her kids at Cave of the Mounds in southwestern Wisconsin.  If you live in the area and have never been, put it on your bucket list, it’s an amazing place.  We had a really nice day and it was a welcome break from the overwhelming heat wave we were experiencing.  The caves are 50 degrees, it felt like heaven.  Afterwards, we stopped for lunch at a local brewpub (I bought my husband a growler, which I always do when I go brewpubs) and had a nice conversation and time with her kids.  It felt like a perfect summer day.

The garden is finally showing signs of life.  I think the combination of late spring, torrential rains and then a weird heatwave has those little plants confused.  But, I recently spotted a flower on one of my eggplant and the squash seem like they are ready to do what they do best,  provide more fruit than any family could possibly eat.  It might be a late harvest, but I do believe that we will have a respectable amount of veggies to get us by for several weeks.

We lost a hive due to whatever is getting the world’s poor little honeybees.  Eric harvested that honey and wax.  The honey will not be suitable for sale or for toast or tea.  But, it will do well in baking, beer or mead.  However, the wax is gorgeous.  I am going to be able to make at least 2 candles from it.

Now time for the Frugal Friday list.  I will roll together 2 weeks rather than one this week.

1. My daughter is able to bring home leftover pastries from her job that have not been purchased.  We have a freezer full of breakfast foods that we have been enjoying a couple days a week.  I am so happy her employer allows them to do this rather than it going straight to a landfill.
2. My parents gave us a gift card to a local restaurant as a thank you for watching their dog.  We used it last weekend and had a fabulous meal.
3. My husband and daughter went to another super hero movie, paying for it with a gift card.  I think he has officially used up his movie cards with Avengers now being in the theatre.
4. I signed up to receive dog food from chewy.com.  They mailed me an offer I couldn’t refuse.  Dog food is so expensive.
5. We did a little bit of Christmas shopping on Prime Day.  We usually buy holiday gifts from local merchants.  But, there were a couple of electronics that we wanted to purchase.

What did you do this week to save some cash?

I can’t believe it’s another Friday and time to go through a list of things we did to save some pennies this week.  Let me start by saying we had an unexpected expense last Friday.  I took my car in for maintenance only to find out that a pothole cracked an axel on my car.  Ouch.  It was not as expensive as I would have thought, so that was a win, I guess.  I like to think it was avoidable, but with the winter we had, I am betting we are far from the only family to be dealing with car issues caused by potholes.

1.  My son and I went to see Toy Story 4.  He is 21, but we needed to finish that series.  I spent the better part of 3 years listening to Toy Story play in our VCR on a daily basis.  To say that Buzz Lightyear was his hero would be an understatement.  Anyway, we went before 12:00 pm on a Saturday, so tickets were $5.00.
2. I scored 2 loaves of bread at a bakery for $2.00 per loaf.  They are normally $8.00 per loaf.
3. My daughter’s birthday was on Tuesday.  The store gave me $20 off for her gift because it was for her birthday.  That was totally unexpected.
4. A friend gave me 3 absolutely gorgeous houseplants from her mother’s house, free of charge.  She just wanted them to go to a home where they would be taken care of.
5. I used up the last of my shampoo in a plastic bottle and started using a shampoo bar.  Preliminary results are good.  So far, I like it.

What did you do this week to save some money?  Remember, being frugal doesn’t mean doing without.  It means saving so that you can enjoy the things that really matter without worrying about money.

Our newest plant

Today I spent the day with my middle child,  Hannah, to celebrate her 20th birthday.  Her actual birthday is on Sunday, but we wanted to take a day for manicures, lunch and shopping.

Hannah has had a tough year.  In April she was diagnosed with Grave’s disease.  The last 9 months were filled with doctors appointments, labs and experimenting with a wide array of prescriptions and doses.  She was a trooper, rarely complained and completed 2 successful semesters in college while feeling pretty crappy. In all honesty, she dealt with the situation much better than I did.  As a parent, it is so hard to see your child struggle.  Her symptoms seemed to come out of nowhere.  It started with the a phone call from her at school saying “I need to go to the ER” and ending with a life changing diagnosis.

Because her heart symptoms were severe, she underwent radioactive iodine on January 2 to “kill” her thyroid.  Once she enters hypothyroidism, which will be a life long diagnosis, she will go on Synthroid.  It sounds extreme, but in her case, it was the only choice.   The radioactive iodine lead to 5 days of isolation because she was literally radioactive.  Since the thyroid absorbs the radiation, for her to be around other people would have put their thyroid at risk.  Again, she dealt with it like a trooper, rarely complained and just asked for food on a very regular basis!  To prepare for the treatment, she had to eat a low iodine diet for 3 weeks which eliminated cheese from her diet.  As a Wisconsin girl, cheese is very important.

She was released from isolation earlier this week.  She spent her time packing up to go back to college, spending time with her boyfriend and spending time with us.  We ended the week by celebrating her birthday, which felt like a perfect reward for enduring a long 9 months.

My girl enjoying a birthday cake.

I am in a lot of Facebook groups that focus on frugal living, non consumerism, hygge and housekeeping.  Since January 1, it seems like the main topic of conversation in all of those groups is the Netflix show about organizing your life and getting rid of your stuff.  I feel like the only person on the planet who has not watched it yet.  I refuse to watch it at this point out of principle.  I have enough guilt, I don’t need somebody telling me that getting rid all of my stuff will make me happy, I am very happy as it is.  As with all things in life, moderation is key, even minimalism.  It feels like another trend that will lose its steam and something else will take it’s place.

Instead, I am choosing to just let life lead me where it will.  Keeping my to do list short and attainable and allowing myself to savor the season of winter with its promise of coziness and warmth.  It’s a cold night out there tonight and I plan on ending this day, in my unorganized room, reading a book.  Tomorrow is always another day.

I read 80 books in 2018.  Some were great, some terrible, but most were actually good.  I have compiled a list of my 5 favorites.

1.  The Immortalists by Chloe Benjamin: This one is my top pick for the year.  I had the privilege to meet the author at a Jodi Picoult event in October.  The story asks the question, do you have control over your future, or is it predetermined?  I feel pretty confident that we will be seeing more books from this Wisconsin author in the future.
2. Heart Spring Mountain by Robin MacArthur: Three generations of women tell their story in rural Vermont.  The story begins when Vale returns to her home after Tropical Storm Irene to search for her mother.
3. My Year of Rest and Relaxation by Otessa Moshfegh: A woman who decides to spend a year sleeping in 2000.  Actually a very sad story about a woman who needs to escape her depression.
4. The Boy At The Door by Alex Dahl: This book from Norway tells the story of a mysterious boy who turns up in a small Norway town and the woman who takes him in.  I love books from Scandinavia, they have an eeriness to them that I don’t find in American books.
5. Hope Never Dies by Andrew Shaffer: This one is just for fun.  Imagine Barack Obama and Joe Biden as super sleuths in Washington D.C. and the surrounding area.  I laughed a lot and felt an odd comfort reading about them as a team again.

I recently finished the book Nine Perfect Strangers by Liane Moriarty.  It was a 5 star book, in my opinion.  As an author, she never fails to write great books.  That however, is not the point to what I am writing.  There was a line in the book, that I am paraphrasing, that has had me thinking.  A character had a heart attack and a nurse said that they always know which men will improve their health after such an event based on the condition of their facial hair.  A man who takes the time to groom himself is a man who will embrace the healthy lifestyle needed to survive.  The character immediately shaves her legs and for those who have read the book, takes a healthy lifestyle to levels of absolute crazy.

When I finished the book, I shaved my legs.  I also realized how true that statement is.  Self care and a healthy lifestyle should be the cornerstone of everything we do.  I know that I am guilty of indulging a bit too much on everything.  I don’t exercise nearly enough and I will let stress get to me more than it should.  Yoga, a form of exercise and relaxation, which I actually love doing, is nothing more than an occasional activity for me.  I also have been told a number of times that I need to start strength training.  I love it when 21-year-old personal trainers tell their 40 something clients that we are losing muscle mass due to our age.  I know that, I just hate doing it.  But, I should listen, she is just trying to help.  I will get on a treadmill, but tend to walk at a leisurely pace, I don’t actually think that is the point of a treadmill.

I think I need to really decide what kind of activities I love that will lead me to a healthier lifestyle.  I would love to hear what others do.  Is it yoga? Pilates? Hiking? NO RUNNING though.  The only time I will be seen running, a bear will be behind me.  I read over and over again that you have to find a form of exercise you love in order for it to truly stick, so I need to hear what people do, that they love.  I hate for this to sound like I am making some kind of resolution.  It just so happens that I finished the book December 30th (I think), so the timing is coincidental.

My dad walking on the beach on Lake Michigan.  His favorite self care ritual

This year for Christmas, my mom came through.  A mug and a box of tea.  This simple gift told me that she really knows me, understands what makes me happy and appreciates the activity that brings me the most calm.  A cup of  tea while reading a book.

Very few things in life bring me as much joy as reading a really good book.  I am a bit embarrassed to admit that when my children were little, I remember telling them to find something to do so “mommy can finish her book”.  This is no longer a request I have to make, but I would probably continue to do that if I had to.  Reading calms my nerves and relaxes me after a long day.  It is an escape when needed and takes me to places I have never been to.

2018 was a really stressful year.  As all families, we had our sources of personal sadness and stress, but those are not what I am speaking of.  The world as a whole has been a stressful place.  As an American, I am constantly on the edge of fear, never knowing what certain leaders, who shall remain nameless, will do.  I worry about the world we are destroying for our grandchildren.  I am not embarrassed or ashamed to say that these worries have stolen more than a couple of hours of sleep.  I tell myself I can’t do anything about what happens, so I shouldn’t worry.  Funny how that doesn’t work.  I am also very aware that we can all make a difference if we work together and make individual choices that will encourage change.  At this point, our awareness of the choices we make might actually make a noticeable difference.  Do I believe that one person choosing to enact Meatless Mondays will change the world?  No.  But a million people making that choice will.

My goal, not resolution, for 2019 is to calm these worries.  I plan on reading more positive books, enjoying a bit more tea, spending precious time with my family and friends and living in the moment.   I will continue to make lifestyle choices that I believe are healthy for the environment and will vote with my dollars.   That is really all I can do.  But, setting all that aside, I will continue hope that 2020 brings my nation a change of guard that might calm the worries of the last 2 years.